so low
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(My boy, I don't know I don't know what to do in this
specific situation
He told me to do this
you know?)
So low, so low and I can't really help it.
I know that I am selfish.
Everywhere I walk I manifest the past and I can't really stop.
I'm sure it'll go away with the tick of a clock.
It's not my fault that I'm not asleep
It's not what I want, but I'll never leave
And what I thought was a fantasy
was just a loss that I'll never see
Some things don't change
Is it all for the best?
Still attached to the sun as we fade into the west
I can't count how many times I replay it in my head
Every second that I wasted and every word I said
It's not my fault
That I'm not asleep
It's not what I want, but I'll never leave
And what I thought was a fantasy
was just a loss that I'll never see
You ever wake up in a sweat in the springtime
stay awake for an hour or two then thinking this time
I'll have a dream about something that's worthwhile
and not the same old garbage that haunts my world while
I sit in silence thinking about my sense of sanity
All the friends I've ever had, are they even proud of me?
Do they remember what I look like in reality,
or would they all just pass me by like strangers standing next to me
To be honest I don't know who they turned out to be
Maybe they're in college, maybe they're chasing degrees,
out of reach, wish I could go back and try again,
see I was never really good with words, and they spoke plenty
How many people have I met that have forgotten my name
Friends and lovers, lost in summers, as I stay the same
Gather plenty of regrets, and they all remain
Get a number, find another, it's all the same
So I hide under the covers and try to clear my head
I don't need this in the morning, I should really sleep instead
Things are different now, we all got shit to do
I guess now that we are all grownups we just pretend to
Sometimes, it's okay to walk away