The Bad Things Vaudeville Show
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Lyrics
Blood curdling screams are our delight
Filled with terror in the dark of night
Bite on your toes and crawl in your ear
We are the bad things that you most fear
Ladies and gentlemen!
Ladiers and germs!
Prostitutes and highway men!
Bitches jerks and worms!
It gives me twisted pleasure
It gives me great bravo
And it gives me extra measure to introduce to you
The casting crew
The Bad Things Vaudeville Show!
Suffering and misery!
All for your amusement!
Suffering and misery!
Just to entertain!
Thank you all for coming to our crooked little show
We love you all, dear audience, but we really love your toe
We hope our show is bearable
We hope it's pretty good
It'll probably be terrible
Well we hope you're drunk or cooked on
Junk for the Bad Things Vaudeville Show!
Suffering and misery!
All for your amusement!
Suffering and misery!
Just to entertain!
If you like you all can sing along
If you want you all can dance
Or get your fill on so much swill
You'll fall down and shit your pants!
And if you think our show is
Bad
And if it makes you want to
Puke, bleh
We'll be so very
Sad
But there's no refunds for this function
'Cause all your cash we spent on hash
For the casting crew, and not for you!
To ease the pain that fills the brain for the Bad Things
Vaudeville Show!