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Hunting With My Wife
Jeff Foxworthy
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I have only dressed like my wife one time in our 20-year marriage
And it was the biggest mistake I'd ever made
You-you cannot describe this little adventure without the word "cluster" in it
She wanted to go hunting with me to see what it was all about
So I got her a camouflage outfit, and she never shut up, she never shut up the entire time
We're walking through the woods, and she's like, "It is so dirty out here"
I cannot believe leaves and sticks are everywhere
Can you believe how dirty it is? Nobody ever cleans this up?
Oh God, look at that, I got mud on my new boots
Oh, I hope that comes out, I love these little boots
You know, they were originally 129 dollars, but I got them for $59.95
You want to know why? They're last year's boots, I don't think anybody will know, do you?
Oh God, there's a bug on my pants, get him off, get him off, get him off
Well, don't kill him, he's just a little bug, he's probably looking for his bug family"
"Here, hold my binoculars because I got to straighten my hat up
Are my bangs even?
Are they really even, or are you just saying that? Are they even?
Does this coat make me look too fat?
I don't like this coat, I liked it when I first put it on, but now I think it makes my hips look fat
Don't you think so?
Where are all the deer? You said there were gonna be deer out here, I don't see one single deer
Is this gonna take a long time?
How come you're putting your gun in your mouth?"
You guys have been great, God bless you, thank you
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