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The Close Shave
Sam Kelly
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Come gather round you diggers all who work the goldfields rare,
It's of a trick was played on me and it's caused me to despair,
I went to town the other day my precious gold to trade,
And there I met a pretty maid who did my heart betray.
Her lips were red as roses, her eyes a deep sky blue,
Her hair as yellow as the gold she stole from me and you.
We went into a public house and there we did imbibe,
Both whiskey and strong porter and dreadful stuff beside,
And then she asked me up to bed to which I did agree,
But truth to tell I fell asleep soon as I hit the sheets.
Her lips were red as roses, her eyes a deep sky blue,
Hair as yellow as the gold she stole from me and you.
When I awoke next morning no trousers could I find,
But scattered all around the room were women's clothes so fine,
Me jacket, shoes and gold was gone and all that's left behind,
Was a woman's dress, a yellow wig and a shaving kit, not mine.
Her lips were red as roses, her eyes a deep sky blue,
Hair as yellow as the gold she stole from me and you.
Why did she need a wig, why did she need to shave,
Suddenly it hit me in a fit of blinding rage,
"Me pretty maid's a man!", I cried, and thanks be I fell asleep,
For I'd rather lose a bag of gold than wake up with that creep.
Her lips were red as roses, her eyes a deep sky blue,
Her hair as yellow as the gold she stole from me and you.
To venture in the street again I cautiously inclined,
I had a shave, put on the wig and wore the dress so fine,
And as I walked along the street a digger gave a wink,
So I thought of all the gold he had and I offered him a drink.
Her lips were red as roses, her eyes a deep sky blue,
Her hair as yellow as the gold she stole from me and you.
Now you may think it sinful, oh you may think it bold,
To take advantage of the lads who struggle for the gold,
It's easy putting on a dress and drinking whiskey neat,
But leave your shaving kit behind when they are fast asleep.
Her lips were red as roses, her eyes a deep sky blue,
Her hair as yellow as the gold she stole from me and you,
Yes her lips were red as roses, her eyes a deep sky blue,
Hair as yellow as the gold she stole from me and you.