The Twelve Days of Christmas
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On the first day of Christmas
At precisely 6:43
A little boy hurried down the stairs
His eyes dancing with glee
Straight away did he look
And what did he see?
A cartridge under the tree
What is this, Dad?
Well, now, that's the Legend of Zelda
You know, that was the very first video game
Santa brought me for Christmas
Back when I was just about your age
Oh, my boy
Zelda is the princess of Hyrule
You play as Link, the valiant knight
Sworn to defend her kingdom from the forces of evil
Pretty neat, huh?
I dunno, Dad
Wouldn't the name of the game confuse people?
Yes!
So, then Zelda's a princess, right?
With a big castle and lots of food and treasure
And everything she could ever want
Do you think she ever gave that nice guy
Any Christmas presents?
Oh, you bet she did!
On the first day of Christmas
The princess gave to Link
A chart holder from the Great Sea
On the second day of Christmas
The princess gave to Link
Two golden bugs
And a chart holder from the Great Sea
On the third day of Christmas
The princess gave to Link
Three loftwings
Two golden bugs
And a chart holder from the Great Sea
On the fourth day of Christmas
The princess gave to Link
Four lofts of land he bought me
Two golden bugs
And a chart holder from the Great Sea
You see, Hyrule is a great big world
Teeming with all sorts of colorful characters
And unimaginable sights
But even grander is its history
Of brave heroes and legendary princesses
Who, together, battled for the sake of the kingdom
For generations
Sounds like the grown-ups sat around
While the kids had to do all the dangerous work
Not true
Hyrule Kingdom boasts a long line
Of wise and powerful kings
The dark prince she'll proclaim
But what did the kings do that was so great?
One of them was a boat
Uhhhh...
The light prince she'll proclaim
Okay, that's ridiculous
I'm not finished
One was a ghost
Well, two, actually
Another one was only really referenced in the manual
Besides, so much of Hyrule's history
Has yet to even be recorded
Who knows how many kings there were
Or what they did?
Just how many are there so far?
Five Hyrule kings
Four goats to herd
Three loftwings
Two golden bugs
And a chart holder from the Great Sea
On the sixth day of Christmas
The princess gave to Link
Six cuccos clucking
Five Hyrule kings
Four lofts of land
Three loftwings
Two golden bugs
And a chart holder from the Great Sea
And on the seventh day of Christmas
See what the good princess gave to Link
Seven sages sealing
Five Hyrule kings
Six cuccos clucking
Five Hyrule kings
Five Hyrule kings
Four goats to herd
Three loftwings
Two golden bugs
And a chart holder from the Great Sea
On the eighth day of Christmas
The princess gave to Link
Eight mallons milking
Seven sages sealing
Six cuccos clucking
Five Hyrule kings
Five Hyrule kings
Four goats to herd
Three loftwings
Two golden bugs
And a chart holder from the Great Sea
How does all that fit in this old plastic VHS?
It doesn't
This is only the first of many
Of Link and Zelda's quest
It's a cartridge, by the way
To defeat Ganon, an invincible pig monster
An invincible pig monster?
From space!
Really?
No, he's from Hyrule
Dad, you're confusing me!
Not to worry, son
Both you and Link will have plenty of friends
That can explain everything along the way
On the ninth day of Christmas
The princess gave to Link
Ten linels leaping
Hello!
Eight mallons milking
Seven sages sealing
Five Hyrule kings
Three loftwings
Two golden bugs
And a chart holder from the Great Sea
Five Hyrule kings
Five Hyrule kings
Four goats to herd
Three loftwings
Two golden bugs
And a chart holder from the Great Sea
Five Hyrule kings
Five Hyrule kings
Four goats to herd
Three loftwings
Two golden bugs
And a chart holder from the Great Sea
Five Hyrule kings
Five Hyrule kings
Four goats to herd
Three loftwings
Two golden bugs
And a chart holder from the Great Sea
Five Hyrule kings
Five Hyrule kings
Four goats to herd
Three loftwings
Two golden bugs
And a chart holder from the Great Sea
Five Hyrule kings
Five Hyrule kings
Four goats to herd
Three loftwings
Two golden bugs
And a chart holder from the Great Sea
Five Hyrule kings
Five Hyrule kings
Four goats to herd
Three loftwings
Two golden bugs
And a chart holder from the Great Sea
Five Hyrule kings
Five Hyrule kings
Four goats to herd
Three loftwings
Two golden bugs
And a chart holder from the Great Sea
Five Hyrule kings
Five Hyrule kings
Four goats to herd
Three loftwings
Two golden bugs
And a chart holder from the Great Sea
Five Hyrule kings
Five Hyrule kings
Four goats to herd
Three loftwings
Two golden bugs
And a chart holder from the Great Sea
Five Hyrule kings
Five Hyrule kings
Four goats to herd
Three loftwings
Two golden bugs
And a chart holder from the Great Sea
Four goats to herd
Three Loftwings
Two Golden Cocks
And a chart hauled up from the Great Sea
Now for me!
On the day of Christmas
The Princess gave to Link
Eleven Gorons dancing
Ten Lynels leaping
Nine
Eight
Eight Malons milking
Seven Sages sealing
Six Koopas clucking
Five Hyrule Kings
Four goats to herd
Three Loftwings
Two Golden Cocks
And a chart hauled up from the Great Sea
Is this almost over?
I wanna play already!
Okay, home stretch!
On the day of Christmas
The Princess gave to Link
Four goats to herd
Three Loftwings
Two Golden Cocks
And a chart hauled up from the Great Sea
Stop ignoring me!
Nine Navi snagging
Eight Malons milking
Seven Sages sealing
Six Koopas clucking
Five Hyrule Kings
Four goats to herd
Three Loftwings
Two Golden Cocks
And a chart hauled up from the Great Sea
The Grandpa of all goons is Link
And the story's told to this day
Well, at least none of these kooky
Characters have anything to do with me!
Push the power button, Tingle