The Hoa Song
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Lyrics
"HOA Hell (Welcome to the Cult-de-Sac)"
(Dark Humor Country Rock Style)
[Verse 1]
Welcome to the neighborhood, hereโs your bible and a rake
Mow it low, edge it straight, or theyโll burn you at the stake
Your fence is two inches too high? Thatโs a federal offense
Hope you like letters in red ink and yard inspection suspense
[Chorus]
Itโs HOA hell, bless your soul
Theyโll fine your ass for a garden gnome
Got a swing set? Thatโs a war crime
Better paint that bitch โfore the deadline
Smile for the cameras, pray for rain
These petty gods crave suburban pain
[Verse 2]
Karen from Lot Nine called a meeting last night
โCause your grass grew half an inchโwhat a blight
Bobโs got a drone and a clipboard of sin
If your shutters arenโt beige, donโt let him in
[Bridge]
No trash cans in sight, no weeds may bloom
One rogue dandelion and itโs your doom
Sacrifice a goat to the board each May
And donโt you dare park in your own damn driveway
[Chorus]
Yeah, itโs HOA hell, grab a beer
Youโre not free, but you canโt leave here
Put your grill in the back, hide your pride
And never hang laundry outside
Conform, comply, kiss the ring
In Polk County, the HOA is king
[Outro]
So hereโs to the cult of the cul-de-sac
Where power-trippinโ Karens got your back
Say one word and theyโll smite your shedโ
Long live the Lords of the Lawnmower Dead