Blood Scales
else//where
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Shedding my skin
Hoping that my scales will find balance this time
Every piece of me that I had to leave
Will it weigh on me if I can't appease
Escape before I asphyxiate
Bend before I start to break
Shedding my skin hoping the new scales within
Will support me to begin again
Will the blood I've lost contribute
To stop teetering between two constants
Will I feel at peace in my own skin
Or am I just waiting to shed again
At the smallest scale is blood what will define me
Am I destined to fulfill a role without applying
Not be myself but what's overlying
At a larger scale is conforming
more valuable than comfort
Would you rather me contort
to fit-in by distorting
disregard my heart
I can't be content in the skin that constricts me
And not pursue the version of myself that I see
As the keratin builds and starts to separate
Do I live in the shell or just escape
Do I shed enough blood to tip the scales of fate
Because I'm struggling to demarcate
Myself between two identities
That seem to just equate
As the venom accumulates
You either wait until it's all you taste
Or you emit the toxins that underlie
As older layers of you die
You keep on breathing to survive
You share the hope you've been deprived
So as I shed my skin again
I know that trauma is leaving
I taught myself I could be gentle
Became overly sentimental
I'm just trying to live my life
In spite of feeling like I died
So in my ecdysis
Can I rewrite this
And find my reason to exist
Find peace within myself
Heal the rift
Because it kills me to resist
The self-realization within