Alpha Male & The Canine Mystery Blood
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Alpha Male and the Canine Mystery Blood
Came to town with Death Cab for Cutie
I stayed home with my wife and child and a six pack of beer
I pondered that name for fifteen minutes
After I saw the poster stapled to a phone pole
On the corner of Grand and 21st
That was a couple of years ago
I was already in my forties then
So I didn't go out on a whim just to see a
Band called Alpha Male and the Canine Mystery Blood
Just because I like the name
Just because I'm twenty-five and
Every day's a stoned summer day
My band was always gigging then
R.E.M. was still kicking then
I drove that Ford Granada mom and dad gave to me
After they got 'em a Ford LTD
And there was music on MTV
I smoked my manager's pot and got laid quite a lot
Planes hadn't flown into towers yet
And we didn't have a loose cannon president
Didn't have all this credit card debt
Hanging over the house like a cloud
Ensuring there's not much more drugging allowed
The body won't take it, wallet can't hang
Singing all the songs I've sang for years
And when it's a band gig it's rocking
And when it's solo the people talking
While I'm singing make me depressed
You think I could take a hint
My time came and went
Hell there's many nights I came and went
In a manner of speaking
My conscience is leaking
The world is changing
The good times are gone
We get to be the folks who greet the dawn
Of an age of mistrust, surveillance and sleaze
And bombs in shoes and way too many enemies
I bet their name was Menstrual Blood
And the A&R guy said that's no good
Make it Mystery and then we can target
A broader based goth dog lover market
I love my boy, he's becoming a drummer
Got a drum kit from Santa
At this rate by summer he'll be keeping a beat
In a world that needs a metronome shoved up its ass so hard
That all voices will raise in a heavenly choir
Shit'll get straight, brothers'll hug
We'll dance like we did in the decades of drugs
I'm spitting my genes in an ocean that's rising
Clinging to Jesus with some compromising
The power was handed to me from my mom and my daddy the preacher
Who watched all that TV in a cream recliner
Frowning through life like a stone hard liner
You couldn't phase him
He knew Jesus died for his sins and was raised from the dead
And I've always wondered why can't he stay dead
It doesn't change any good thing he said
What matters is his life and not how he died
Why can't he just be a nice Jewish guy
Who was super clued in and showed us the way
To salvation from sin
And that doesn't mean if you're not quote unquote saved
You fry like a piece of country ham in your grave
It's a great big world, life is a joke
Arabs and Christians, Pepsi and Coke
People so gorgeous it causes them pain
And nobody gives any sympathy for something like that
You suffer in silence or form a band
With a name that appeals to goth dog lovers everywhere
On a poster that's seen by a fortyish bastard
Walking to work at 8:15
Eleven an hour for all that he does
You can't be a has-been when you never was
Going all day long without eating
'Til all my nerve endings are seriously overheating
I get wobbly walking down the stairs
To smoke me a cigarette out in the cold fresh air
Wondering why I do the things I do
And I do 'em every day
And it can't turn out good living this way
But live this life I must
And in some fuzzy God I'll trust
I'll kiss my wife, I'll kiss my son
And maybe someday I'll go for a run
Maybe someday a song'll stick
I'll walk around like I got a big boat
Maybe someday my boy'll drum
In a hippie jam band that plays out some
He'll take every daddy, get in the van
Go somewhere only young people can
Doing things only young people do
Banging those skins at Bonnaroo
Rocking the dreadheads, dancing in the mud
Before Alpha Male and the Canine Mystery Blood
God go with them, amen