Pistol Dave
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Lyrics
Wassup now, motherfuckers?
Dave the ex-con driving old trucks
Don't give a flying fuck if you're sober or drunk
Just move the hell over, punk, hurry up, go
Dave threw a Big Gulp out the window
There's a pair of testicles hanging off the back bumper
"Where's the dick?" Sittin' in the driver's seat, brother
Dave the dusted dirt bag burnout
We found him passed out in the bathroom of some girl's house
When he came to, he was still in a daze
He said, "What it do? I'm Pistol Dave"
Dave the codeine freak with lower back pain
Always knows a guy who knows a guy from back in the day
Always like, "Hey, I knew your pops growing up
Looks like the fart doesn't fall far from the butt
Tell your moms I said what up
Ask your nana how lesbians make love
Hey, when can we take drugs?"
Dave the dope fiend shooting dopes
Who don't know the meaning of 'homie' nor 'bloke'
He said, "I got bullets, hurry up, run"
Way too many triggers for a man with one gun
He said, "It's no fun being on work release
I'd rather work this piece, please be back in a minute, don't leave"
But like my dad, don't expect him back when he goes to smoke
Legend has it, I'm still waiting for Dave in Park Slope
Dave
The first to draw, the quickest to aim (The quickest to aim)
The fully loaded love we made (The love we made)
He shot me through the heart, and now we'll never be the same
So I sit and wait for Pistol Dave
Now all of us, we're moving on from what happened
All I wanna know is who's gonna talk to him about this
I don't talk to a motherfucker, who you talkin' to?
This dude was not the one to idolize
More like the one to meet and quickly say, "Aight, goodbye"
Never liked the guy, the crew was drunk, the driver's twice his size
Jump ship, whole life flashin' before my eyes
Who the fuck is this? Never bumped his ugly lips or had good spit
Drove the bus half-lit, few cans short of a six-pack
Flashin' Russian prison tats (What?)
I asked him if he'd like to smoke, he said, "I'd like to get wet"
I said, "I'd like to get home," he said, "I'd like to get head"
Commands to using the CB to move his HPV
My views of human decency would cease to be the same
But at least he was cheap, he left without getting paid
That's Dave, the road hog swallowing dust
Who bought his own trucks with Marlboro bucks
That's Dave, the first play monkey in space
I asked him for my lighter, he punched me in the face
That's Dave, the truck stop hand job king
Copped lube from the bathroom vending machine
Got mean when we asked about the missing amount
Took two bouncers and three cops to bring him down
That's Dave
You have a prepaid call
You will not be charged for this call
This call is from a prepaid and a federal prison
This call is being recorded and is subject to monitoring
Hang up to decline the call or to accept just a five second
Woo, started on a 69
Kissing on a hot piece of puss in between sips of fizzy wine
This Twin City piggy's trying to hit me with a fine
Like my middle initial isn't "gimme mine"
Got me out there hugging her shoulder
Like there hasn't always been dispensaries up in Boulder
Like they's never mention of me when they speak of the devil
My name's Dave, the pistol's made of metal
I told the webcam model, "Call me 'Martian Brando'"
The bandana headband hair like Rambo
Commando but the pants still saggin'
Dabbin' in the bathroom with the Mother of Dragons
She put the bus in reverse
She mixed the dust with the herb and then we fucked in a church, huh
Trench coat, feeling like Judd Nelson
Yo, Dave, what the fuck are they yelling?
Dave, I'll sit and wait for you