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Visiting Hours
Shane Koyczan
,
The Short Story Long
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During visiting hours
I had to read to sick people
Kinda' People who had no one
It was my punishment
Catholic school community service
For farting on a nun's muffin
It was an accident I swear to god
And every day would start the same way
She'd say
"How you doing?"
And I'd say "I'm doing alright"
She'd say "I'm doing just fine"
Point in fact
The cancer had taken both of her breasts
And i imagine where ever cancerous breasts get thrown
Two of them mourn their lost body
But she could laugh
She had a laugh like a welcome mat
Wore the same kind of smile
Curious George could wear
If he finally came out of the closet
To be with the man in the big yellow hat
She'd touch where they used to be
And say "You know, it's probably good that they're gone
My ex used to go about them all wrong" she said,
"Half the time the only reason my nipples were erect
Was because they were trying to jump off my body
To run away from his tongue"
I was thirteen years young
Thinking to myself
"Oh my God you're awesome"
For me it was all about visiting hours
I hadn't read to her in days
She was too busy teaching me
How to watch horror movies and laugh
Because all of the monsters hollywood can think up
Just aren't as scary
As letting yourself be talked into
Believing you can be only half of what you are
She'd put a hand on each scar
And say "if you really want to get scared
Watch the news"
Its steeplechase
Every day thousands of people face
Going under thousands of knives
But it's still more cost effective
For doctors to pay off lawsuits
Than its to save lives.
"So don't try walking a mile in my shoes
Just wear my pajamas
And walk in my dreams instead
Beause this isn't a deathbed"
She'd say,
"I'm not gonna give up today
I'm not just gonna lay here and take it
Beause life is as elusive
As getting an orgasm from my ex
So sometimes I just got to fake it
So if anyone ever tells you
You're not good enough
You're not smart enough
Give up your foolish dream
If anyone ever tell you to quit
You got to make them wear a diaper on their mouth
Because man they're just talking shit"
Then she'd smile and say
"You gotta let your body be the rocking chair
That soothes the tired body of hope
Let your arms be the rope
Around the neck of self loathing
Let your skin be the clothing
That keeps compassion warm
On the cold streets of regret"
She says "don't pray for me yet"
And I said "no problem religion is something I gave up on
Along with dieting
But love
Love is a feeling that in me and through me
I've often called god
So I will love you"
She looked me straight in the heart and said
"Its a shame
They don't make hospital beds for two
But kid you
Got your own shit to do
And I can't continue
To let you be doing alright
Or be going just fine
Not when there's world full of people
Tired of dressing in shadows
Just waiting for you to shine"
"Now bring me my goddamn jello"
She liked jello
She liked me too
During visiting hours
I had to read to people
Who had no one
But this is about a woman
Named everyone
This isn't about death
It's about the fact
That I can still feel her breath in my ear
Sometimes I can even hear her say
"You're not giving up today"
Because I live in a world
Full of seeing eye underdogs
And I'm pretty sure
We're all tired of wearing our choke chains
We're tired of being treated like walking canes
In a world so blind
No one can find each other
So we just keep bumping into one another
Like people are just buildings made of bone
Who collapsed every time they're made to believe
They were meant to stand alone
But you're not
Some of us can love
Some of us look like jokes
Not funny
Its just the way you people keep falling for us
And yeah
Some of us are going to get cancer
And some of us are going to fall in our showers
But until then you got to shine
Because all the time you get
It's just visiting hours."
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