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The End of the World
Laurie Anderson
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Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back to London, Laurie Anderson
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Ooo-ah
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Ooo-ah
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Hi
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This evening, I'll be reading from a book I just finished
And since a lot of it is about the future
I'm going to start more or less on the last page
And tell you about my grandmother
Now, she was a Southern Baptist holy roller
And she had a very clear idea about the future
And of how the world would end
(In fire) In fire
(Like in Revelations) Like in Revelations
Now when I was ten
My grandmother told me the world would end in a year
So I spent the whole year praying and reading the Bible
And alienating all my friends and relatives
And finally, the big day came
And absolutely nothing happened
Just another day
Ooo-ah
Now, my grandmother was a missionary
And she had heard that the largest religion in the world was Buddhism
So she decided to go to Japan to convert Buddhists
(To inform them of the end of the world)
To inform them of the end of the world
And to inform them about the end of the world
Now she didn't speak Japanese
So she tried to convert them with a combination of
Hand gestures, sign language, and hymns in English
Ooo-ah
The Japanese had absolutely no idea what she was trying to get at
Now, when she got back to the United States
She was still talking about the end of the world
And I remember the day she died
She was very excited
She was like a small bird perched on the edge of her
Bed near the window in the hospital, waiting to die
And she was wearing these pink nightgowns
And combing her hair so she'd look pretty
For the big moment when Christ came to get her
Ooo-ah
And she wasn't afraid
But then, just at the very last minute
Something happened that changed everything
Because suddenly, at the very last minute
She panicked
After a whole life of praying and predicting the end of the world
She panicked
And she panicked because she couldn't
Decide whether or not to wear a hat
Ooo-ah
And so when she died
She went into the future in a panic
With absolutely no idea of what would be next
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