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(The Bastard) John Barleycorn

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Three enterprising women with murder on their minds A devious plan devised With cold black hearts each did her part For John Barleycorn's demise (hup!) They turned that bastard into ale both amber-brown and stout Then ground him up and boiled his bones, so pass the cup about And then they stirred in bitter herbs, and when his blood ran clear They turned that bastard Barleycorn to a tankard full of beer The first of the three with scythe in hand John Barleycorn dispatched She skinned him clean and dried his bones A most barbaric act (hup!) They turned that bastard into ale both amber-brown and stout Then ground him up and boiled his bones, so pass the cup about And then they stirred in bitter herbs, and when his blood ran clear They turned that bastard Barleycorn to a tankard full of beer The second lass gathered up poor John And placed him 'tween two stones With no remorse she stayed her course And ground up poor John's bones (hup!) They turned that bastard into ale both amber-brown and stout Then ground him up and boiled his bones, so pass the cup about And then they stirred in bitter herbs, and when his blood ran clear They turned that bastard Barleycorn to a tankard full of beer The last of the women gathered up his remains And made with them a stew With water and herbs the pot she stirred And turned him into brew (hup!) They turned that bastard into ale both amber-brown and stout Then ground him up and boiled his bones, so pass the cup about And then they stirred in bitter herbs, and when his blood ran clear They turned that bastard Barleycorn to a tankard full of beer A fortnight passed 'fore John saw his last The women gathered again And now this host raises cups in toast To John Barleycorn's remains (hup!) They turned that bastard into ale both amber-brown and stout Then ground him up and boiled his bones, so pass the cup about And then they stirred in bitter herbs, and when his blood ran clear They turned that bastard Barleycorn to a tankard full of beer They turned that bastard Barleycorn to a tankard full of beer (hup!)