i watch jimmy kimmel every night in hopes that one day he'll get what he fucking deserves
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In Dreams I still see that smile
Cave it in then wake up and try to just live my day
Shove it all down
No
Let it all out
I can't fucking think about this horseshit
Without starting a tornado of shit
Fuck my mind
Deep desire
Keep this violent shit at bay
I can't help my ways
Childhood making it feel kinda fucking strange
To be mild
Weak to be kind
Impulses must be denied or you'll push in
My will flat-lined
Lost my sense of me
A sense that I'm living my life
I don't know who I
Don't know who I am
I put all my eggs in a bag with a hole in it
Went and bet it all on black when all I saw was red
Someone help me find my place, all I know is mine
Is a fucking mound of skin that someone bruised time
And again, the same shit
Spilling all over myself and I can't reach out to a friend
Mind blockade
Trying to get over all this years old shit
Childhood was shit
I can't. I can't. Fuck this
I can't do this all now
I've locked my cage
I feel safe
I've locked my cage
I'm home
I'm alive but not living
Waiting around for shit to fix my head
Don't put in work, expect it to be on its own
Why do I think I deserve it
Tear out my hair and yank on all of my teeth
Tear off my skin and hang it out to dry
I don't need these fucking flesh formalities
All that they do is preserve dirty rotten meat