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Suffering

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waking up in suffering same as i was yesterday cold breath speaks kindly tells me to go back to sleep words that no one hears pass through paralyzed in visions of darkness i close my eyes i lay my head down to rest but sleep never comes love evades every thought and pills nullify my restless mind i hate myself but i couldn't hate you even if i tried hiding in my purest failure i attempt to understand why hate and love seem so different but are one and the same falling out of grace i know it'll never change even if i tried