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Trade Show
Daniel Thrasher
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Every year at the trade show
People from all over the country bring out their most treasured belongings
To find out just how much they're really worth
(Trade Show)
So, what do we have here?
Yeah, I've got this necklace that my grandpa gave me before he passed away last year
Told me it has some kinda history, I don't-, I don't really know too much about it
And you're looking to see how much it's worth?
That's correct, yes
Great, let's take a look
It's really heavy, sorry
Okay, so, this medallion here, uh, as you can plainly see
Given the materials used and the primitive markings on the back
It was probably forged around the year 200 BC
Huh!
You see that sort of greenish-purplish glow
Makes you feel nauseated when you hold it in your hands?
I was wondering about that
Yeah, that's clearly an indication that this is a Chaos Object
Oh, okay!
Well, this particular object was passed down through the Han Dynasty
And survived centuries of territorial Asian warfare
So my guess is that it's been cursed and blessed and then cursed again
So many times throughout various Shamans, Witch Doctors, and McDonald's lobbyists
That world leaders have deemed it one of the 13 Chaos Objects that
When laid out in pentagonal fashion, gives birth to the new Antichrist Incarnate
Oh, that's what Grandpa was saying
I thought he said something else
Don't worry about it, though
The others have been dispersed all around the globe
So the new Antichrist isn't expected to arrive for centuries to come
Holy crap!
Yep!
So, what's it worth?
It's worth all the human souls on Earth
Wait a minute
Satan?
In the flesh, baby! Man, that skinsuit was getting stuffy
Skinsuit?
The truth is that I actually gave this medallion to your grandfather, like, way back in the day!
Like, the summer of '72, '73, I think?
You have his eyes, actually, anyone ever tell you that?
No way... So that means
It's probably how he died, to be honest!
I mean, I've never seen a human hold on to a Chaos Object for that long
That has got to be a record, it has to
You killed my grandfather?
We all die someday, kid
Thanks for bringing this back, though
Small world!
(Trade Show)
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