Skip to content
Lyric
Dive
Public playlists
My playlists
Search
Sign in
Deodorant
Gabriel Iglesias
Popularity ยท Low
+
๐ฌ๐ง English ยท Original
0
0
YouTube
Searching YouTube...
Lyrics
Original
Translation
Bilingual
Oh my God, and for me, you guys, smell is so important, it is so important
You know how many people I meet every single year? I am so self-conscious
I don't want anyone to smell me that I meet
And all of a sudden have them say, "Fluffy smell like ass"
Hell no
I know I'm a big guy, that's why I do double the maintenance
Twice the showers, twice the cologne, twice the deodorant, twice the powder
If I fart right now, this whole area will smell like cinnamon
That's how I roll
You guys will be looking at each other, "Is that cinnamon?"
Sรญ, canela, canela, canela
He smells like a malasadas, yes
"What's a malasadas?"
It's a ball of dough with good stuff in it
Wrapped in cinnamon, tastes delicious
Anyway, like I said, you guys, for me, smell is so important, you know
And the fact that my son at 15 now is, you know
His body's becoming an adult, even though he -
You know, and I try to tell him, and he always forgets, and blah, blah, blah
And it wasn't until his PE teacher called us up and told us that what he was doing is
He's leaving his PE shirt in the locker over the weekend instead of bringing it home to wash
And so that shirt just broils and simmers in those kid juices
And then on Monday when he puts it on, it's all hard and yellow and just, you know -
Nasty, and they told us, "Your son is smelly"
And I'm like, oh, hell no
I took his ass to the store, and I bought him a 10-pack of that Right Guard gel
With a little click on the bottom
And I showed him, Frankie, look, look, look, look, look
Right there, right there, right there, right there
Every day, twice a day, that's what you gotta do
And every day, it's an issue, "You put on deodorant?" -"Ah"
I went back to the store, and I bought 10 more
And I came back to the house, and I started strategically placing them all over the house
One in the front door, one at the back door, one in the hallway, one in the kitchen
So no matter where he's at, "hit it," right?
He hated that because the neighbors would come over the house
And I'd have to explain why there's deodorant everywhere
Like it's a new type of potpourri
And then he starts hiding the deodorant, and then he starts lying about it
And I'm like, I'm sorry, but teenagers can't lie
They're too fidgety, they're uncoordinated
They look away, they stutter, they can't focus
I asked him, "Did you put on deodorant?" "Hmm"
"Are you sure?" "Yeah"
"Come here, I'm gonna smell you," "You don't believe me?"
"No," "That sucks"
"Are you wearing the gel deodorant that I bought for you?"
All right, take your finger, stick it under your armpit, and then pull it out," "Why?"
"Because if you're wearing the gel deodorant that I bought for you
When you pull your finger out of your armpit, your finger's gonna be shiny
It's gonna look like you have lubricant on it," "What's that?"
"Shut up"
And then he tells me, "I'm wearing dry deodorant"
"Oh, really? I don't remember buying that"
And I got in his face, and I said, "Look, Frankie, you don't have to lie
I'm here to help you, I'm not here to hurt you"
I said, "Do you like girls?" "Mm-hmm"
"Yeah, okay, good, well, guess what? They don't like it when you smell -
They like it when you smell fresh and clean
You don't have to lie, I'm gonna let this go
But if I catch you lying to me again -"
That's when he freaked me out, and he did this, "What?"
In my head, I heard, "Are you ready? Are you ready? Let's get it on"
ย