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The Plan
Death Becomes Her Original Broadway Cast
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๐ฌ๐ง English ยท Original
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Lyrics
Original
Translation
Bilingual
Oh, boy
All right
Here's the plan
It's the best plan you've ever had
And you're gonna say the plan right now!
Right now
Step one
Ah, surgical tools
Surgical tools
We got pliers, clamps
Forceps - you know what, let's just take all of that
Step two: Ah, gloves
Gotta keep clean from the blood
And if there isn't blood
It's probably 'cause they're cadavers
And cadavers don't bleed. Urrgh!
Step three
Another drink
You don't need another drink to think!
There's a lot goin' on
Gotta keep your head on straight!
Hahahahaha!
Tools, check
Booze, check
Now go upstairs and reattach that neck
Then off you go
And no one'll know
That the women are dead but they're alive
They're dead but they're alive
Step one
New step
Gonna start it with a whole other step
Step one is a whole new step this time
So everybody, just look out!
Step two: Ooh, get glue!
Hot glue, super glue, Elmer's
Something to seal up all the cuts and the cracks
The flaps that pull back on the skin
Oh, the skin!
What do I do?
The two of them are turning blue
And their makeup won't stick
So I guess I have to seal that in - oh, my God, oh God
Oh, Ernest! What a mess, oh God
If this gets in the press
You'll be canceled
You'll be shamed
You'll watch your life go up in flames
You'll die and desecrate the Menville family name
No!
You're Ernest Menville, dammit
Surgeon to the stars!
If someone needs a nose
They come to you
You fix faces
And butts
You sew lacerations and cuts
So what's the difference with a big ol' hole
That, Jesus Christ, you could see right through
Clay! You need clay
You need clay to fill the hole in the lady
That's a good idea!
Well, thank you, friend
You ain't so bad yourself
Okay
Next step. Ah, what do we got, what do we got
We got mod podge
Mod podge
Acrylic seal-in spray
Ooh, pray spaint! I mean, spray paint!
Hahaha. Just a little spray paint!
It's thin, it'll stick to the skin on its own
And it comes in a variety of flesh-colored tones
Oh my God, I think I did it
I don't know if I did
I really think I did it
Little airbrush here, shadow there
Basic care to the nails and hair
A quick shellac for wear and tear and, wham!
Yes!
You're Ernest Menville, dammit
Surgeon to the stars
You gave Cher the cheeks she has today
You fix boobies
And necks
You graft the fat and they write the checks
So who's to say you can't Bob Ross
A little zombie decay, huh?
You're Ernest Menville, dammit!
Surgeon to the stars
The steadiest hands in all of L.A
Hahahaha
Who's capable
And comedic
And a towering six foot three?
Ernest Menville, M.D.!
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Hahahaha!
Ernest Menville
Ernest Menville
Ernest Menville
Ernest Menville
Ernest Menville
Ernest Menville
You're Ernest Menville, dammit
Surgeon to the stars
Steadiest hands in all of L.A
Who's got tools, booze
Spray, clay
Paint, and a medical degree
Ernest Menville (Menville)
M.D. That's me!
E-R-S-T And that
Tools, booze, clay
Fill a hole in the lady
Paint the - hic- paint the corpse, that's the plan (Yeah!)
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