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Contrition
My Fictions
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Who's to say I can escape feeling this low?
I don't know.
And I've tried to remind myself that nothing matters, but I can't.
It just felt good to hurt again, if just for a second.
I've been so let down and distracted for months now, and each time I write, I ask myself to change.
But I sit down and my problems are the same.
But who's to blame if I'm alone all the time?
The burden must be mine.
I know I can't change.
I'm weighed down by selfishness.
But this doesn't sound like guilt.
This is false contrition.
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It doesn't hurt anymore to know I won't change.
I find comfort knowing no one's listening.
No use in hurting or trying to be perfect.
I know I'm facing the worst, and I deserve it.
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