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Convoy GB
Laurie Lingo & The Dipsticks
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๐ฌ๐ง English ยท Original
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Lyrics
Original
Translation
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It was a foggy day on the sixth of May
In a Scammell hauling bricks
It was just cracking dawn and I started to yawn
'Cause I couldn't find any nice chicks
I tried Newport, Bagnall, Toddington
And even Wofford Gap
But after so many eggs, chips, sausage and beans
What I really needed was a nap
It's a lonely life truck driving
But it's better than a bike
'Cause when you're up in the cab
You're the king of the road
And it's dead romantic, like!
And then I remembered me two-way radio
So I started feeling better
And I thought, "I'll start a convoy"
You know, just like that American fella
Thus began the saga of the M1 motorway
Of the biggest bloomin' convoy outside the USA
Why not join our line-up, it's completely free
All you need is transport and a current MOT
Convoy
"Hello, this is Super Scouse calling, anyone out there, come on"
"Hello, hello, this is Plastic Chicken, get off"
"That's, come on, what's your load, Plastic Chicken?"
"Well, it would have been quick drying cement, but the rain got in
You know anybody wants to buy a three ton brick?"
Oh, so there we were, the two of us
At the start of something big
There was Plastic Chicken with his brick on wheels
And me and my big rig
With every junction that we passed
Others would tag on
There was even a London Transport bus
"Hey, that's a nice wagon, fare please"
It certainly was an impressive sight to see us on the road
There was vehicles of every shape and size
We certainly had grown
Suddenly there was this commotion
It was a circus and a fair
There was an animal acrobatic act
"Oh look, a bear in the air!"
You're listening to the saga of the M1 motorway
Of the biggest bloomin' convoy outside the USA
We're halfway through our story, but please don't go away
Here comes Spaghetti Junction
"We won't be here all day"
Convoy
"Hello, Plastic Chicken to Super Scouse, get off, I mean, come in, er
Oh, do I have to say this every time?"
"Yeah, have you seen any fuzzboxes? That's slang for police cars"
"Jackanory, Super Scouse, that's slang for those"
"That's negatory, you prick"
"Oof, eh, it's a private convoy, can anyone join in?"
"What's your wheels out here?"
"Hmm, would you believe a camper?"
Spaghetti Junction was coming up
So we were bound to lose a few
And sure enough, the forklift truck disappeared
Heading up towards Crewe
The combine harvester shred a wheel
And the driver lost control
And a mobile DJ crashed his van
"So he ain't gonna play no soul, deadbolt"
And so we end our story on the M1 motorway
Of the biggest bloomin' convoy outside the USA
This record is good value, as you can plainly see
It's labelled as a tax disc, though it's about me
Convoy
"Er, Plastic Chicken to Super Scouse
There's a big black limo coming up behind"
"Er, what about it?"
"Well, it's got a flag on the front
And a funny number plate, er, HRH1"
"Oh, er, mercy sakes, good body, you better, er
Give her the front door and wave her on, like"
"Will do, Super Scouse, I'll wave her on
Oh look, she's waving back, isn't that nice?"
"Plastic Chicken, do you wanna stick
Her in behind that suicide jockey?"
"What's a suicide jockey?"
"As he happens, I was about to"
"Er, Plastic Chicken, er
Don't you think you better change gear for this, er, hill?"
"Er, what's wrong with the gear I've got on?
I mean, doesn't it look right?"
"Change gear? 'Ram the foot on the floor and change the gear'
What you talking about?
You don't wanna drive a truck, do you?"
"You know I wish I had"
"You have no idea, you have no idea how to drive a truck"
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