CHAOS
Popularity · Low
YouTube
Searching YouTube...
Lyrics
I got used to tears on my shirt sleeves
Panic attacks getting groceries
Deep breaths and incense and heartbeats
The simplest of things could break me
I got used to rationalizing
The trauma with fake silver linings
And living felt more like surviving
I never thought that I'd stop crying
Ooh I'm finally healing my wounds
Spent so long broken in
Two trying to glue back the pieces
I don't know what peace is or who I am
When the chaos goes away
Why do I kinda wish it stayed
I spent a year trying to make it out
And I don't know how to function now
When the chaos goes away
Why am I still not ok
I can't even sleep through the whole night
Or go by myself on a long drive
Will I be like this my whole life
Already paid my price
Maybe I spent so long
Outrunning my past
That I still can't help looking back
Will I always be waiting
For my would world to cave in
Ooh took so much time getting
Used to everything breaking in
Two trying to glue back the pieces
I don't know what peace is or who I am
When the chaos goes away
Why do I kinda wish it stayed
I spent a year trying to make it out
And I don't know how to function now
When the chaos goes away
Why am I still not ok
Ah ah ah
Fighting the pain
Gave me a purpose
I pulled my demons
Up to the surface
I made a home in
All the discomfort
I found myself in all the dysfunction
I got so sick of asking for help
But I sill can't take care of myself
I got so used to living through hell
That I feel so lost anywhere else
When the chaos goes away
Why do I kinda wish it stayed