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Chipmunks Roasting On An Open Fire
Bob Rivers
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Chipmunks roasting on an open fire
Hot sauce dripping from their toes
(Oh! That tickles!)
Yuletide squirrels fresh filleted by the choir
They poked hot skewers through their nose
(Ow! Wrong end, cowboy!)
Everybody knows some pepper and a garlic clove (achoo!)
Help to make them seasoned right
Tiny rats with a crisp golden coat
Will really hit the spot tonight
And now when Santa sees his tray
(Ho ho ho ho ho ho!)
There'll be some homemade chipmunk jerky for his sleigh
(Mmmm, hey, look at that!)
And every hungry child is gonna spy
To see if chipmunks really sing when they fry!
And so I'm brushing on some honey glaze
To keep them crisp and juicy, too
Let's hope they get served many times, many ways
Tasty chipmunks, good food
Oh, Nat? Mr. Cole?
Yes, sir, Mr. Seville!
Would you mind handing me the barbeque sauce? I am starved!
Oh, no problem Dave. Hey listen, you best be havin' two of them drumsticks
'Cause they're oh-so tiny and there ain't much meat upon 'em!
(What about animal rights, Dave?)
Put a sock in it, Melvin!
You know, for years people said you overrrated hamsters were my meal ticket
Now I guess you could just say you're my meal!
That's a good one, Dave! I always knew you was the funny one in the group!
Damn straight!
And so I'm offering some recipes
From chipmunk pie to chipmunk stew
I'm not really sad that it ended this way
Furry chipmunks, screw you
Did you hear that Melvin? Melvin? Mellllviiiiin!
Why, I'm sorry Dave, did you want Melvin?
There's plenty of Thagadore left though
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