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Grotty
Dr. Syntax
,
Dirty Dike
,
Lunar C
,
Pete Cannon
Popularity · Low
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Lyrics
Original
Translation
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I owe my mates mum a bit of gardening
Chilled with her son and yo, I still beg to pardon him
Lazy little shit bag, naked in a wigwam
I paid to get a ticket, still break in with a wristband
Maybe you're a big man, perhaps you done a bit of bird
Maybe you're the type of man to slap about a bit of skirt
Either that or some kind of dickhead with the fitting words
To wriggle out the thinnest situation when it thickens first
I know that you're the biggest of pricks
Cause you're listening to this with your missus and kids
Getting sticky as a rizla, hitting whiskey and spliffs
Head spinning like a frisbee in a twisted abyss
So listen to this, shove a pair of scissors in your gob
Pull your pants down and fucking scare the missus with your knob
Get delicious with a cod, I'm never fishing with a rod
I be getting in the kipper like I'm pickling the lot
Smoking a spliff with a pregnant bitch at a bus stop
Whether I pass it on all depends on if I get sucked up
About to spend the child benefits at a pop-up
Back of the bus to hers and tell her kids they can fuck off
Raid their lunchbox just to jack a jam sandwich
Vaj magnet, I'm leaving your yatty's flaps slanted
Dabbed hand when I slap her fanny, I'm fantastic
Stash my package in a fat lass's back passage
Make these rappers feel inferior when Lunar's here
There ain't no one to compare me to it's too unfair
Chewing hair, gurning and dreadlocking my pubic hair
Holding up a cardboard sign saying it's rude to stare
Stoned and lazy, never on top form
They kicked me out of school and told me I'm a lost cause
So many wrong thoughts in my brain it's gone warped
I watch porn with a limp dick eating popcorn
If rappers are like MS DOS, I'm the next XBOX
Quicker, more game
Sinners, pure flames
Disagree, I bet you're more ignorant than redneck cops
And that's word to Big Bird and Thor I heard
Me killing it as standard as verse, chorus, verse, chorus, verse
Awesome work unless you're a boring nerd
And all you heard was a discordant dirge
In which case, do us all a big favour
Push a switchblade in your ribcage with haste
Fuck your mixtape, you a bitch mate
Go eat some Findus fishcakes with your shit mates
It's a testosterone-fuelled romp
Your boo on some hot goo like she's got the fondue on
Ooh, wrong, too strong
New song, huge bong
I bring the bangers, it's your boy known as Pete Cannon
One look at me, girls get the wet salmon
You rap multi-syllable bars with bare poise
I do a show, fuckers scatter like they're sex toys
Like I wanna hear thoughts in my rap music
Fuck you, eat a dick, this is rap music
It's Eazy-E to the bank, this is rap music
Balls out when I rap, this is rap music
I was digging before you had pubes donny
You sample MP3s you fucking coo dummies
Know I'm as hip hop, as hard as it comes
Keep a spare room in my house just for crates of my drums
I keep it one way only, fresh hair cut
Trimmed up beard and some Mach 3 nuts
Master of all trades yeah you're damn right sluts
I do the beats, do the bars, do the mixing, do the cuts
What?