Clinton: An American Musical
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Lyrics
How does a moon faced schemer
Wife of a cheater
Elected to the New York senate then
End up in the cabinet of her former nemesis
A president she ran against
I like to speak in huge run-on sentences
As first lady, she fought daily for kids and babies
I once called her shady
But I was just campaigning
I don't mean to be flaky
And look, I'm not saying she's ideal
But at least she's not orange, racist and rapey
When Hillary campaigns
She never takes a break or complains
And it's insane that people still support this buttmunch
This guy is worrying
'Cause if he wins he'll have to do stuff
He'll have to answer for the facts and figures that he "Trumped" up
Then a running mate came
In the form of Tim Kaine
Our gal saw her numbers stay basically the same
Swell
I'm just here to say whatever you need me to say
I may have a few suggestions though
Just stay out if the way
Ok
And the word got around
They said Bernie could be our man
A Jewish socialist, who's mad legit and talks with his hands
In the primaries she broke Bernie across her knee like Bane
And you already know her name
What's your name ma'am
Hillary Rodham Clinton
She should be in prison
I'm here to save us from Armageddon
You're Armageddon
I just have to get past this piece of dung
That's rude
Waste of space
Orange disgrace
And how much more evidence
Must we get on this prick
To get his advocate
To admit their candidate is unfit
To sit in this oval office
If you're undecided you're a fracking idiot
I married the Donald
The Donald is very normal guy
We are not deplorable
And I don't ever plagiarise
I'm telling him Donald, you must watching what you say
Especially when you're wearing microphone, okay?
I can do what I want to women
'Cause I'm rich I can just kiss them
Then I grab them by the pussy and the tush
But I respect them
Wait a second
That was just some "locker room talk"
Just normal bros joking about sexual assault
I barely even have sex
My wife won't even do me
Her husband really does the stuff I brag about doing
But when I'm president I'll make so many Hamil-tens
I'm here to make America white, I mean, great again
Not another old white man (I can't wait)
I'm not white I'm super tan (I can taste it)
The GOP's in the shit can
I'm Hillary
And I'm Tim Kaine
Hillary Rodham Clinton
She's gonna take all of your guns
I guess you're the best that we can do
At least she pays her taxes
We know you'll make us proud
You shouldn't be allowed online
No
Hillary Rodham Clinton
She'll let in all the Mexicans
We'll just print out your e-mails for you
Afterwards we'll shred them
You've been called every sexist name
And you know that I feel your pain
Let's flush this orange turd down the drain
Woah
There's morons in the voting booths
See if you can stop them
It's my place
Another idiot just voted for the Donald
I'm so great
I did it just to watch this lame two party system tumble
We made nice with her
She's a huge loser
Hashtag I'm with her
Hashtag I'm with her
Me?
I'm the damned fool that couldn't keep it in his pants
Ow! I deserved that
She's a badass bitch who gets it done
We could do worse
So who you voting for?
Hillary Rodham Clinton
Wait, what?
This whole song was rigged