Give Us Something Juicy
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Give us something juicy
What was Jack like in bed?
If it's really juicy
It could make you rich
Make it nice and fruity
Tell us what Astor said
How did he persuade you
When he got the itch?
Who came in the front as
You slipped Jack out the back?
Any chance it could've been
A Russian spy?
Did you mention missiles
In the sack with old Jack?
Was Ivanov chatty
When he stroked your thigh?
Ivanov?
You heard me
Hang about, what's your game?
Where did you get that name?
What's it matter, love?
I thought I was here to talk about Johnny Edgecombe
You're here to talk about
Whatever we want you to talk about
Such as whether you discuss
Matters of national security
When you're in bed with the Minister for War
When he gave way to lust
Missiles weren't much discussed
And Ivanov?
Eugene was a very big vodka man
He'd have ten for the road
And then things would never go quite to plan
I don't think that he ever shot his load
Woah, there!
That's not what we want to hear
It only happened the once at the very most
And we were both so drunk
Neither of us could really remember what we'd done
Surely we owe your readers the truth, don't we?
Don't be bloody stupid
Where's the fun reading that?
We need something juicy
For the papers to sell
Never mind what happened
They want tit, they want tat
He may not have fucked you, Christine
What the hell?
We owe it to our readers
All the news fit to print
That is our proud credo
On the street of shame
Play your cards right, darling
Or you could end up skint
Do you want the gutter
Or a life of fame?
You wanted my story
You promised me glory
Never told me I was going to have to lie
You don't understand
It's twenty-four grand
News of the World readers
Set their sights quite high
Without something juicy
This ain't worth thirty bob
We'll do all the writing
It's a piece of cake
Tell us something juicy
Come on, love, do your job
Orgies, niggers, warheads
Real news, for Christ's sake
Tell us something juicy
Come on, love, do your job
Orgies, niggers, warheads
Real news, for Christ's sake
Orgies, niggers, warheads
Real news, for Christ's sake