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Lies

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When I was 17, I took a plane to the coast I took my friend Robyn, because she's really the most We were cruising the strip, you know Sunset and Pico In less than 5 minutes, I met a guy named Rico He drove up to the curb in a chopped old Royce He had a tan from a bottle and a radio voice I said, "Yo, Banana, are you ready to ill?" And he took us to a party in Beverly Hills On our way over, we stopped at the beach Rico went in and saw a tea bag named Leach Robyn was cooking, he was ready to go She said, "Didn't I meet you in Monte Carlo?" When we got to the party, the butler opened the door And I knew that I'd seen him somewhere before It was Shirley MacLaine dressed up as a man She said, "Om Shanti, welcome to La La Land" Vanna White was there and they were playing a game But the numbers on the wheel were all the same I didn't see Jerry Falwell or Jessica Hong But I was told they were upstairs getting it on Hugh Hefner arrived with a bunch of skeezers The Chippendale dancers were real crowd pleasers Duke and Duchess of Windsor were really nice They brought some underground films of Gary Hart and Diana Price In Beverly Hills, they refuse to be beat So it was Chicken McNuggets, all you can eat The emcee of the evening was a blonde guy named Doc He screamed at the crowd, "Are you ready to rock?" (Rock, rock, ready) "Oh yeah, oh yeah," they said, waving their hands He said, "I'll give you ultra-fly, number one in the land" I stepped up to the mic and I delivered my weapon La La Land was transfixed in a second From Frisco to Tijuana, they were feeling that jam And those that felt it know I am what I am I'll deliver so heavy like no other assault I'll pierce the earthquake meters on the San Andreas fault When morning came, we were still going strong But our flight left at noon, I had to break from the throng Mary Hart was screaming, "Outta sight, outta sight" They were shooting a party for Entertainment Tonight They wanted me to stay and co-host the show But I had a jam at MIC and I had to go Besides, it ain't my thing to be a co-host And that's the story of my first trip to the coast