Hate Song
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Momma always said
That hate was a strong, strong word
Poppa always said
That words of hate should never be heard
But I'm getting older and I just cannot lie
There are things I hate, no matter how hard I try
I hate traffic, I hate dirt in my eyes
I hate spiders, and I hate girlfriends that lie
I hate cancer, I hate cauliflower pie
But most of all, I hate my ex-girlfriend's new guy
I hate that guy
The good book says that we should love everyone
And I'm doing my best, but it's easier said than done
This new guy was a good friend of mine before
Caught him with my girl in his mustang ford
I hate taxes
I hate stink bugs and flies
I hate rug burns
And I hate polka-dot ties
I hate Mike Tyson
'cause he'll bite your ear then bust you in the eye
But most of all
I hate my ex-girlfriend's new guy
I hate that guy
I was sittin' down by myself
I was having a coke
I heard someone laughing
Real loud at a real dumb joke
I recognized the voice
So I turned around
It was my ex-girlfriend's new guy
Can't stand that clown
He walked up to me with a really sorry look on his face
And he said, man I done you wrong
But now she's gone and I've been replaced
I know I don't deserve to have you as a friend
Because I played the fool
But I'm really hurtin' man
Can I just pull up a stool
So he started crying and saying how he loved that girl
She got with a new guy and it rocked his world
He asked me how I dealt with it when she dumped me
And I said, I just talked about stuff I hate man, it's like therapy
And he said, really
I said yeah, yeah
Give it a shot go ahead
I hate pimples, I hate hemorrhoids and hives
I hate funerals, I hate unsalted fries
I hate Britney Spears
Because she never returns
Any of the letters that I write
But most of all
I hate my ex-girlfriend's new guy
Wouldn't mind if someone huge fell on his head and he died
Like a bus, or a truck, or a meteorite
A hippopotamus, a rhinoceros or even a pig
If it was falling fast from a great height
Ooo, I hate that guy