the balled of onan
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Lyrics
There are heroes in the bible
That many think are great
There's Samson, David, and Noah
And others touched by Fate
But there's one man in the bible
Whose story makes me sigh
He's Onan and he's my hero
Let me tell you why
Well God he said to Onan
"You need to have a son
There are many Jews I talk to
But you're my favorite one"
So Onan picked his wife up
On the bed he laid her down
But instead of giving her his seed
He spilled it on the ground
Onan, my God that man was great
Onan, he loved to masturbate
His name was Onan, that man he was a jewel
Onan, he tended to his tool
Well God he said to Onan
"You need to build an Ark
There's too much sinning in this world
It needs a brand new start"
But Onan stopped his building
When it began to rain
He said "Screw this whole boat building
I'll go home and pull my chain"
Onan, my God that man was great
Onan, he loved to masturbate
His name was Onan, that man he was a jewel
Onan, he tended to his tool
Well God he said to Onan,
"You need to free the Jews
So go and tell old Pharaoh
It's my will he must choose"
But when Onan met the Pharaoh
He ignored what Yahweh said
And pulled out the wrong staff
And chose to free his own seed instead
Onan, my God that man was great
Onan, he loved to masturbate
His name was Onan, that man he was a jewel
Onan, he tended to his tool
Well God he said to Onan,
"I'll give you one more try
There's a big man named Goliath
And I think he needs to die"
When Onan saw Goliath
These are the words he spoke
"I think I'll beat a neat retreat
And my chicken I will choke"
Onan, my God that man was great
Onan, he loved to masturbate
His name was Onan, that man he was a jewel
Onan, he tended to his tool
Onan, Onan in a rut
Watch him whilst he busts a nut
Onan, my God that man was great
Onan, he loved to masturbate
His name was Onan, that man he was a jewel
Onan, he tended to his tool
One stroke up
One stroke down
Cum like Onan on the ground
Onan, my God that man was great
Onan, he loved to masturbate
His name was Onan, that man he was a jewel
Onan, he tended to his tool