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thru your eyes
Sean Thornton
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"Last year you were still 18
And i still thought I could be a boy"
When i saw you, you were as big as a smokestack
And i felt small, as if i were a man
Like my dad watching mass on tv
Oh lord, exorcise me, pennsylvania dream!
The splits in my love line, and the faintness of my fate
I'll no longer hold out my palms and wait for you to redeify me
Still, when it all settles in, in a year or two or three
I will want you to be proud to've held me!
I want a love big enough to contain me
I want something so big, it could hold me steady!
I want a love big enough to contain me
I want something so big, it could hold me
I want something to own me
And I want something to hold me
And tell me it's all transitory!
I want that great wide everything
To throw me down on its bed and fuck me!
Choke me hard! choke me entirely
And feed me a warmth to live inside
For the next four awful months of my life
(Compress me, and tonicize me
And call me your baby as you fuck me)
Last summer, the earth was warm and balmy
And everybody smoked cigars, I dug my feet into the mud
Before I slipped from your skin, o,warm and dead and dry
Ferris wheel sunset now february sunrise
And I saw you again, last night and the night before
But I'll admit your face has changed
I'm not sure what you look like anymore
Still, I'll dream and I'll dream
Until there's nothing left of your face
Oh, it's just blue light, a power, and nothing
August forever
I want a love that could kill me
I want a love where I can't see to the other side
Could I be perfect forever if you fucked me hard and choked me always?
Could I look thru your eyes as you look down at me?
Could then I be small the way you know I've longed to be?
And I'll stop scratching at the screen door...
(Night falls in my room
Maybe it was more than love
But it fell just like all the others do)
(So I sit and)
Pick at my skin like it's styrofoam
March-april dyed the grass yellow
But it's been months since I've seen any snow!
Don't expect things to change when they won't
Don't expect things to change when you won't wait for anything
Or displace any of that agency, yeah, oh, baby...
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