Skip to content
Lyric
Dive
Public playlists
My playlists
Search
Sign in
“40’s” Chin/Relaxation
Nick Swardson
Popularity · Low
+
🇬🇧 English · Original
0
0
YouTube
Searching YouTube...
Lyrics
Original
Translation
Bilingual
Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only Nick Swardson
Oh my god, this is insane! Hollywood Improv, how are you?
Oh my gosh, that is just amazing, you guys, I'm so fired up to be here
Let me just say this, I'm in my 40s
Yeah, anybody else here in their 40s?
Yeah, fired up, okay, yeah
You took a nap today, that's key, that's a key part!
So when you're in your 40s
If you don't know, here's some stuff you get to look forward to
Some new features that appear on your body
Like, check out my bonus chin (look at that!)
Yeah, you get a bonus chin
It's right under your other one, and it bubbles out of your neck
Like a frog from the Amazon
Yeah, it's really great, it's super awesome
I look like I'm wearing an airplane pillow backwards
That's what a double chin looks like
To the point when you're on a flight and the stewardess is like
"Do you wanna go to sleep, do you need a pillow?"
And you can be like, "No, I can use my own head"
And then you prr into your neck
Yeah, there's nothing sexy about it
Yeah, when you're at a club or a bar
There's no chick looking at you across the room, like
"Oh my god, look at that guy, he's so hot, is he wearing a turtleneck?
Made out of cookie dough? Oh my god," and then fucking orgasm
It doesn't happen, that doesn't happen
Yeah, the double neck chin is horrifying
'Cause there's no machine at the gym for it
You have to create that, let's work on that, okay, everybody?
Somebody create that
Just a strap that just fucking slaps it
It just slaps it off your body, I don't want that
So, you know, I fly a lot, smooth Segway right there
I got in trouble recently
I masturbated during a massage and got in trouble, yeah, yeah
It was a massage chair at the airport
Yeah, so that was nuts
Um, I do fly a lot
And it's funny to me that they do have massages at the airport
Have you seen this?
And it's a very stressful environment, so I get it
But it's funny how they have, like it's not in a backroom
It's just out in front of everybody, like those massage chairs
And they're trying to get you to relax
You know what I mean?
They're like, "Alright, just sit down
Yeah, just relax, get in the chair"
"Flight 705, GFK, leaving now, 705!"
"Yeah, just breathe, inhale, exhale"
"Missing child, gate 62, missing child!"
"You're in the rainforest, you're in the rainforest"
Yeah, it's bullshit