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Crash First
honestav/mgk
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Lyrics
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I fill my lungs with half my worth
And try to go numb, so that I can't hurt
'Cause at my highest, I'm at my worst
And I can't fly until I crash first
Everyone seein' me screamin', been that since birth
Everyone seein' this money I'm blowin', but nobody seein' the work
Look, dad, I'm high like you, for me, the pills don't work
I like diggin' in a bag, I like smokin' 'til it hurt
And if my eyes roll back, then let the tears come first
Been holdin' those in too long, fakin' it like I'm too strong
And when my eyes roll back, throw my body in the dam
And them things in my pocket, will you hide 'em from my fam?
Will you tell the world I loved hard? Can you make 'em understand
That all of the things I was strugglin' with, they ain't make mе less a man?
And all of the trauma I'm tryin' to bury probably made mе who I am
Think growin' up broken was necessary, so I could fix my fam
And part of me died on this deathbed, holdin' my daddy's hand
Just tell my daughters their father will drown if that means they can swim
I fill my lungs with half my worth
And try to go numb, so that I can't hurt
'Cause at my highest, I'm at my worst
And I can't fly until I crash first
I know that it takes time, I'm comin' to get you
Walkin' a straight line, I need me a breakthrough
I'm smokin' a grapevine, sippin' the grape juice
Choppin' a white line, it's gettin' harder to face you
Oh, God
Yo, we 'bout to-, ay, look
Yo, we 'bout to fuck it up
Ay, Kells, tell the people, man
Ay, bro, ayy, Kells, they act like we don't do this, man, what? Come on
Yeah, take my hands off the wheel, I'm speedin'
I said I hate you when I left, I didn't mean it
Open wounds from my nose, still bleedin'
Only you can clean me up, I'm still fiendin'
Cold sweats and these meds can't treat it
No sleep, I'ma party through the weekend
Kerosene, black smoke, I'm breathin'
Somebody, save me, I've been fallin' off the deep end, uh
All I know is I don't know how to give a fuck (I don't)
All I know is I don't know how to give a fuck (I don't)
I couldn't give a fuck (no), I never gave a fuck (no)
All I know is I don't know how to give a fuck
Under pressure, I don't got control of my aggression
Under the influence, I'm 'bout to make a bad impression
On the dresser, it's some ammunition and a weapon
And I've been smokin' on this shit since I was adolescent
36s, I'm tryna get lucky, number seven
I wonder if they got a spot for junkies up in Heaven
Leave a message, they gon' find my body in the bedroom
And they can listen to this song if they want my confession (yeah)
Take my hands off the wheel, I'm speedin'
I said I hate you when I left, I didn't mean it
Open wounds from my nose, still bleedin'
Only you can clean me up, I'm still fiendin'
Cold sweats and these meds can't treat it
No sleep, I'ma party through the weekend
Kerosene, black smoke, I'm breathin'
Somebody, save me, I've been fallin' off the deep end (no)
All I know is I don't know how to give a fuck (I don't)
All I know is I don't know how to give a fuck (I don't)
I couldn't give a fuck (no), I never gave a fuck (no)
All I know is I don't know how to give a fuck
Go, go, go, go (I'm gettin' closer to death)
Go, go, go, go (I'm gettin' closer)
Go, go, go, go (I'm gettin' closer to death)
Go, go, go, go (I'm gettin' closer)