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stranger at the dinner table

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When I was a kid I had it all wrong Thought I was a man until a boy came along And I stayed on the playground of that very day When I learned who I'm drawn to could draw them away Sit up straight and maybe you won't have to tell them And grow up learning how to be a different person Convince yourself it'll be enough to marry someone you don't love And build a family on a lie to keep the family line So you sit, half as whole A stranger at the dinner table It's like watching the TV from inside the show And playing a character that nobody knows they wrote What's a joke if they don't know that it's you thะตy're laughing about? And then they ask why you'rะต quiet when their hand's over your mouth Sit up straight and maybe you won't have to tell them And grow up learning how to be a different person Convince yourself it'll be enough to marry someone you don't love And build a family on a lie to keep the family line So you sit, half as whole A stranger at the dinner table And they try to fix the parts of you they broke Do they know that holy water is just cold? And they made you keep it all from the ones you love the most And I'll never get the time back to tell my mother who she holds