Gelatinous Cranberry Cube
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Lyrics
We found it wobbling by the feast
A crimson blob the size of ten beasts
It shimmered bright in candlelight
A Jello fiend of crimson might
The rogue said Hey it smells like jam
Then screamed Oh gods it ate my hand
Oh the Gelatinous Cranberry Cube
The sweetest death you can't elude
It's a red and bitter bog fruit
That swallowed half the adventuring group
It swallowed the whole turkey feast
The druid screamed We must slay the beast
The wizard muttered Fireball's best
Now gravy drips from every guest
The cube just burped a fruity tune
Then oozed throughout the dining room
Oh the Gelatinous Cranberry Cube
The sweetest death you can't elude
It's a red and bitter bog fruit
That swallowed half the adventuring group
It slurped across the banquet floor
Absorbing plates and chairs and more
The bard cried out It's festive goo
The cleric asked What do we do
The fighter swung it split in two
Now we're double cranberry screwed
We trapped it near the pantry door
It wanted seconds maybe more
The bard declared This fight is done
And then said Well that was fun
Now every year when we sit to dine
The cube oozes back at suppertime
Oh the Gelatinous Cranberry Cube
The sweetest curse we can't elude
It's red and slick our jellied doom
Each year slurping through our dining room