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David Shrigley / Don'ts

Four Tet
Popularity ยท Low
๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง English ยท Original

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Don't stick your hand in the blender Don't use the hairdryer while you're in the bath Unplug the electric saw before you try to fix it Don't point the crossbow at your friends Don't trim your toenails with a carving knife Don't climb inside old freezers in the junkyard Don't put your nephew in the microwave Don't summon demons with the Ouija board Don't try to make new holes in your belt while you're still wearing it Don't try to swim to the island Don't throw darts at people There is no such thing as a metal frisbee Don't climb on the roof Don't throw stones at me to try to attract my attention Don't shut your eyes while you're driving There is no such thing as a metal frisbee Don't drink the grey wine Don't swallow pills that you find in the street Don't stab people with old syringes Don't make your own fireworks Don't drop slabs from the motorway bridge Don't take the batteries out of the smoke alarm Don't throw grit at the driver Don't make your own flamethrower Stay out of the chemistry lab when the supervisor is absent Don't throw ammunition on the campfire Don't play games with poisonous snakes Don't eat glass Don't smoke in the reef aquarium depot Be careful with the nail gun and the air rifle and the circular saw Don't glue razor blades onto things Don't pick fights with known psychopaths Don't touch the hot plate Don't hang glide over the volcano Don't lean out of the window when the bullet train is in motion Don't put old car batteries in the furnace Don't play chicken Don't fly a kite beneath the electricity pylon Don't be dared to do dangerous things by people with missing limbs Don't make roadblocks on the bobsleigh run Don't pretend to be a doctor Don't tamper with the braking system Don't shout at old people Don't liberate zoo animals Don't use the lawnmower to trim the hedge Don't give bayonets to children Don't hide the fire extinguisher Don't run in the hospital Don't stick metal coat hangers in the Toaster while it's still switched on Don't buy bomb-making equipment Don't slash my tyres while I'm driving Don't play war in the electricity substation Don't stage mock executions Stay away from the ski jump and the Cable car and the funicular railway Don't volunteer for the drug testing Don't go in a hot air balloon Don't press red buttons Obey the stop signs Obey the stop signs Obey the stop signs And the no entry signs And the speed limit Don't jump over the barriers There is no such thing as a metal frisbee Don't try to perform surgery on yourself Don't stick kebab skewers up your nose Don't join the army Keep your hands off the gas tap and the Welding equipment and the railway signals Don't break into people's houses and climb up their chimneys Don't park in the fast lane Don't steal police cars Don't pretend to be an acupuncturist or a pilot or a back specialist Don't try to grow biological weapons Wash your hands after using pesticides and playing with Dead animals and attempting to grow biological weapons And above all, don't eat scorpions