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The Biggest Whatever
The Dillards
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It got Old Joe Wiggins while returnin' a fruit jar
Out to Bessiemae Hootin's pa's place
About a mile out of town on the West Plains Road
He disappeared without a trace
They discovered his teeth when the County Police
Made an investigation of the case
And Cousin Belle Simmons said that Sheriff Cartwright
Had the strangest look on his face
It was the biggest whatever that anybody ever saw
It was covered with fur and come a-rollin' in from Arkansas
It was 40 feet high, had a gleam in its eye
And a big purple patch on its craw
It was the biggest whatever that anybody ever saw
I saw old man Huntsel, he's a hundred and four
Yesterday at Ida Jaffet's house
Said it's much bigger now than when it carried off my cow
But it's not enough to worry about
Back before the war there were a whole lot more
But they never came this far south
I don't mind seein' one from time to time
But I hope it's not its regular route
It was the biggest whatever that anybody ever saw
It was covered with fur and come a-rollin' in from Arkansas
It was 40 feet high, had a gleam in its eye
And a big purple patch on its craw
It was the biggest whatever that anybody ever saw
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