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It's A Party, Not Daycare, Asshole
Doug Stanhope
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Have you ever considered registering as a sex offender
Just so you have a legitimate excuse
For why your friends can't bring their stupid children over to your house?
That's all it would take
That's all it would take
Never thought, oh, wait, that's so easy
I just put myself on a website somewhere
And then your friend calls up
Yeah, you're having a Monday night football party?
Shit, yeah, I want to come
I got custody this week, though
You don't mind if I bring Jimmy Jr. and the baby, do you?
Oh, yeah, Jim, I'd love to see the kids
You know, they're a treasure at every party
But I had an incident years back
And now I'm on a watchdog site
So why don't you just leave those kids locked in a hot car
And you bring beer like anyone else would do at a party?
Who thinks that's okay?
Plus, I'm a huge Saints fan
And I might fuck the shit out of your kids
If they're ahead at halftime
Because I'm real superstitious
So, yeah, you bring cold beer like anyone else would do
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