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Halftime
Billy Gardell
Popularity ยท Low
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๐ฌ๐ง English ยท Original
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Lyrics
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Gettin' old, man, heard the gun for halftime go off when I turned 40
I'm at halftime in my life, my life is half over
And I played a sloppy first half, man
I didn't think the game was gonna go this long, I didn't
It took some timeouts coming down the field
You know you're getting old when you hurt yourself sleeping
You ever wake up, "What the fuck was I dreaming about?" Oh, God
And then you gotta lie to your buddies
I ripped my neck up movin' a fridge
Really? Nah, I sprained it on a pillow
It's all goin' to hell, I don't know what happened
The older you get, the older you get
The more stuff you gotta quit, you know?
Like, I quit smokin' weed
I had to, I got a seven-year-old
You know how stupid you looks
When you can't figure out chutes and ladders?
And you throw a fit about it
If I get here, I gotta go to the bottom?
I ain't playing!
That's not good parenting
If you're over 35, too, technology doesn't have you by the throat
It doesn't own you, and I like that
People my age look at technology like
Yeah, I can't figure that out
Just turn the radio on or something
I don't believe in all those buttons, man
And let me tell you something
If you're under 25, and you use your cell phone a lot
I want you to do me a favor
For two hours a day, I want you to put your phone in your drawer
That way, you remember how to hold a conversation!
I cannot talk to someone under 25 without a-two minutes into the conversation
They pull that phone out and start hitting them buttons
Ah, yeah, ah, yeah, uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh
It's like watching a chimp peel a peanut at the zoo
Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah
They act like their phone's their personality, right?
That's all they want to talk about is that phone
I always tell young guys, work on your car
Nobody ever got laid in the back of an iPhone
They love that phone, man
They want to tell you all about it
Look, check out my phone, bro
Check it out, check it out, look at it, look at it
Look at that, look at all the applications
This one tells me the weather in five different places I'll never be
Look at that, that's awesome
You ever notice they never make any grown-up applications?
It's just all to trick kids into blinking lights
Look, it's blinking, it swirls, that's magic
Gonna make something for my age group
Make me a wife app
That way I can scream into that phone
"I'll be home when I said I'll be home"
And then you hit the button, and she hears, honey, I'm a little delayed
I want you to know I was thinking about you
I love you, and I'll be home soon
That shows you how old I am, I just hung up the iPhone, see that?
Get right on the rock
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