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Becky Apples
Megan Hilty
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Jeffica
Becky Apples
Ugh, Jeffica
I bet Becky's got perfect hair (Jeffica)
Jeffica's got stupid, stupid hooves
I'm never gonna eat another apple ever again!
Ooh, it really bunches my wool
To think how badly she hurt you
Baby girl, tell me your story
I left my rider so that I could raise an army
(So that you could raise an army)
Then C-Doug popped up and he said something alarming
(Ooh, what did he say?)
He told me that my best friend's ridden (no!)
Another horse so pretty (no way!)
And her name is "Becky Apples"
Because, ugh, of course it is
Becky Apples, Becky Apples!
What a gorgeous, fancy schmuck
Becky, how you like them apples?
'Cause I think your apples suck
Becky Apples, Becky Apples!
Guess what? I knew Rider first
And while technically I don't know Becky
I know she's the worst
Oh, she is so the worst, Horse (right?)
It's unbelievable (stupid Becky)
But can I tell you about someone who's
Kind of a total Becky in my life?
Uh, okay, I gue-- uh
I mean, I'm kinda not done
Being mad about Becky Apples
Well, I was flirtin', flirtin' with a slick merdude
(Yeah, this is not the same situation)
He was the finest carny that I've ever pursued
(There's more than one?)
He played me like a ukulele (he did)
I don't want no drama, baby (too late)
But I flipped when I found out his girlfriend was a llama lady!
Oh, that Jeffica, that Jeffica's
Got stupid pretty legs
And I bet that Sunfish Merguy would let her adopt his eggs!
Jeffica! Jeffica! Jeffica! Jeffica!
Ugh, even her wool is perkier
Maybe Jeffica's flirty boyfriend
Is the one who's the actual jerk here
Ooh! Jeffica
Making me feel bad
About projecting my own insecurities
And displacing blame on her
When she really did nothing wrong?
Ugh, she's the worst (ahem)
Oh right, you're sad
I feel your pain, girl
I'm your vindicator
And we don't know
Jeffica, Becky
We just know we hate her
This isn't okay
And this isn't fine
Let it out, baby girl
It's just I thought Rider would always be mine
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