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If You Were A Country Girl
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If you were a country
If you were a country girl
If you were a country
If you were a country girl
You'd take his pictures off the wall and you'd smash it
Get to flying off the Jack handle batshit
Run and get the shotgun underneath the mattress
Point it at his tailgate, pull the trigger at it
You'd take a buck knife slash up his truck tires
When he ain't looking you'd go push him in a bonfire
You'd put a copperhead up in his bed
Cover up his back porch floor with some barbed wire
Wouldn't be lying round watching no heartbreak Hallmark TV
(Bitchin' 'bout him leaving)
And you damn sure wouldn't be crying into your martini
(You'd be getting even)
If you were a country
If you were a country girl
If you were a country
If you were a country girl
You'd round up your dixie chicks and you'd go crazies
You'd put a little somethin' somethin' in his black eyed peas
Duct tape him up in your trunk, later hater
Drive him down to Louisiana feed him to an alligator
And you wouldn't be caught up in the woe is me drama with a candle lit
Tryna get over it
Cause your bona fide chicken fried momma
Woulda taught you how to handle it
And you'd handle it
If you were a country
If you were a country girl
If you were a country
If you were a country girl
Country girls don't take no smack
And if they get hurt they hurt you right back
Meaner than a pissed off yellow jacket
When you're cutting the grass girl and you'd know that if
You'd know that if
You were a country
If you were a country girl
If you were a country
If you were a country girl
If you were a country
If you were a country girl
If you were a country
If you were a country girl
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