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Two Strangers (Carry A Cake Across New York)
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Lyrics
Original
Translation
Bilingual
Jake
No, he's fake
Shame
Vincent
Boring
Duncan
Same
Rick the dick machine
What's wrong with Rick the dick machine?
I don't think Rick the dick machine is actually his name
Cedric
No
Rohit
No
Chocho
No
Aw, Cedric
Again?
Chuck (No)
Drake (No)
Jet (No)
Brad (No)
Rod (No)
Joe (No)
Look at these magnificently underwhelming men
You have no idea
He shaves his chest
He loves his booze
His beard
His shoes
His vibe
His views
He lives in Queens
He rips his jeans
That's way too many neck tattoos
He says he's my soul mate
I'm thinking... he isn't?
He's dressed like a wizard
He's holding a lizard
And not to be judgemental but he's currently in prison
Attention seeking narcissists who seem to think they're geniuses
And though you never ask insist on showing you their penises
Insatiable lotharios
Fellatio scenarios
And overbearing, oversharing, earring wearing Casanovas
Please Jesus on high
Don't let her die alone
There must be a decent, available guy somewhere inside this phone
What about Cody?
Cody?
Cody could be fun
He's terrible at spelling and he seems to have a gun
He's Scorpio!
Scorpio is dangerous
So what? He's fascinating
Absolutely not
What about Zachary?
Zachary?
Zachary's okay
Zachary is married with a baby on the way
How do you-
He's lying and his name is really Joe
But how do you-
Don't ask me how I know
Help God if you can (Help this poor girl)
No need to be so mean (No need to be so mean)
There must be a vaguely acceptable man trapped in this tiny machine (Whoa, tiny machine)
What about Rudy?
Careful, Rudy is a shock
Well, you must admit that Rudy has a photogenic-
Stop
Admittedly it's-
No
You can really see the-
Hey
It's beautiful
Just take that thing away
What about Justin?
Justin, sweet Justin
He loves his dog
He's gorgeous
He swiped me too
Ugh who am I kidding, he's out of my league
Don't say that
Sure, he's big and handsome but so are you
Although you did message him at 3 a.m. to ask him if his dog is single
I know, stupid drunk Robyn
Please Jesus on high (Trust me it's fine)
Just give me back my phone (Everything's under control)
There must be a halfway acceptable man (There must be a slightly less horrible man)
There must be a clean and convenient man (He must here somewhere)
There must be a decent, available guy
Somewhere in New York
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