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Chapter 6: Dead Butterflies
Citizen Soldier
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I don't wanna die
I just don't wanna be alive in black, in white
'Cause nothing matters when my mind is like cyanide
Drowning me in dead butterflies
Free from pain, numb's the price
Drowning me in dead butterflies
Comfort of a warm embrace
Jokes that got me through the day
Friends I couldn't live without
Mean nothing now, nothing now
"I love yous" and "you'll be okays"
Affirmations that I craved
Words that helped when I was down
Mean nothing now, nothing now
Emotions paralyzed and pinned down tight
They all forgot how to fly
I don't wanna die
I just don't wanna be alive in black, in white
'Cause nothing matters when my mind is like cyanide
Drowning me in dead butterflies
Free from pain, numb's the price
Drowning me in dead butterflies
Deepest dreams I lived to chase
Passions that outweighed the pain
Accolades that made me proud
Mean nothing now, nothing now
Emotions paralyzed and pinned down tight
Where dopamine goes to die
I don't wanna die
I just don't wanna be alive in black, in white
'Cause nothing matters when my mind is like cyanide
Drowning me in dead butterflies
Free from pain, numb's the price
Drowning me in dead butterflies
ย
When I try to feel, I fall
Every ceiling is a wall
What the hell are these wings for?
When I try to feel, I fall
Every ceiling is a wall
What the hell are these wings for?
The reasons I'd commit to stay
The optimist that kept me sane
The faith I used to never doubt
Mean nothing now
I don't wanna die
I just don't wanna be alive in black, in white
'Cause nothing matters when my mind is like cyanide
Drowning me in dead butterflies
Free from pain, numb's the price
Drowning me in dead butterflies
ย