Godzilla Genealogy Bop

Mystery Science Theater

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Lyrics

Crow T. Robot I'm confused. Uh, just who is this Godzilla guy? Tom Servo Yes, wise one. Please, teach us. Joel Robinson I don't know if you're ready for this. Tom/Crow Oh, please Mr. Joel. Please! Come on. Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Joel Okay, my little robot friends, but we only pass this way once. This is called the "Godzilla Genealogy Bop." Would you hit it, Professor Cambot? In order to know Godzilla, we've got to look into his past. Crow You know studying genealogy is gonna be a blast. Joel Ah, you've got it little robot pal, we're swinging into high. Tom Come on, let's cut to the chase you couple of geeks, and get to the family tree! Crow Huh? Joel Well, it started with a nuclear blast and pets that were released. Tom Oh, like-- Tom/Crow --baby alligators and other nasty beasts? Joel Right. The fusion reaction caused them to grow a thousand times their size. Tom Oh. Crow Well, that explains Godzilla's attractive tail and thunderous thighs! Joel Right. Tom Ah! Joel Now you're getting it little buddy-- Crow Ah! Joel --but now we must move on. Tom Uh huh. Joel Godzilla's not the only one to benefit from the A-bomb. Tom Yeah, look, there's Aunty Ness from Scotland's Loch, they married in the spring. And their first-born was Godzooky, and now we begin to sing! Crow Godzookie went to Hollywood, an agent to the stars. He had an affair with Lorna Luft and smoked those big cigars. Tom And outta the lusty Luft affair Ron Perlman resulted. Huh. Joel You know, surgery was considered for him, but nobody was consulted! Oh, I did it again. Crow Then Ron met Yoko Ono, and they began to spawn a couple of hundred horrible things as green as Forest Lawn. Tom There they are: there's Kermit the Frog, the Swamp Thing, Hulk, and Ernest Borgnine too! Crow But Ernest Borgnine isn't green! Tom Well ya put him on a boat and he is! Joel/Crow What? Tom Hey! Who's that at the bottom, a-wallowin' in his shame? Crow Oh, that's just Steve Guttenberg of Police Academy fame. Tom Huh. Joel To wrap it up, the worst mutation... Crow No, you don't suppose?! Tom Oh, yes it is, the horror of horrors-- Joel/Tom/Crow --Karl Malden's nose!