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47
Skemm
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It's 2:47, blue light on my face
Ceiling knows my secrets, I don't sleep anyway
Alarm clock screaming, I think it hates my guts
I hit snooze, hit repeat, yeah, I'm stuck in a rut
I got opportunities knocking at my door
But I tripped over myself every time I get close
Everybody says "I'm doing just fine,"
If they only knew how I waste all my time
I make promises I don't keep
Tell myself lies so I can sleep
If I'm honest, I'm scared of change
I'm more scared that I'll stay the same
I'm fucked up, I won't deny it
Running out of time, and I'm well aware of it
I got love, I got friends, still I feel alone
Surrounded by voices but I'm on my own
Life's moving fast, I'm falling behind
Every year feels shorter, yeah, I feel the decline
I swear I'm trying but I don't know how
Feels like I blink and it's too late now
I don't take care of myself, I know it's dumb
Eat like shit, sleep late, say "Tomorrow I'll run"
I treat my body like a rented car
Redlining habits just to see how far
She holds my hand like I'm not broken
I smile back like nothing's wrong
But there's a war, I don't talk about
Silence is the loudest sound
I keep waiting for a moment that clicks
Like one deep breath that finally sticks
But motivation comes then goes
Like everyone else, it never stays close
I'm fucked up, yeah, I admit it
I see the cliff but I still inch towards it
I got love, I got friends, still I feel alone
Heart full of people, mind made of stone
Life's moving fast, I'm losing grip
Trying to steer while the seconds slip
I swear I care, I swear I try
But fear's got a tighter grip than time
Maybe I'm scared I'll become a lesson
Or worse someone I don't respect
I keep saying soon
I keep saying next year, but next year's been here for a while now
I don't need saving
I don't need praise
I just want a reason not to waste my days
If this is the start, I hope it hurts
Means I'm still alive, means it still works
And I'm fucked up, but I'm still here
Still breathing through the doubt and fear
Got love, I got friends, I still feel alone
But I'm learning how to sit with it, not run home
Time's running out, I hear it loud
But I'm not done, no backing down
If I'm lost then I'll find my way
Even if it takes me breaking first to change
2:47, same old room
But tonight feels different, maybe I do too
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