Skip to content
Lyric
Dive
Public playlists
My playlists
Search
Sign in
I’ve Been Married for Twenty Years
Bill Engvall
Popularity · Low
+
🇬🇧 English · Original
0
0
YouTube
Searching YouTube...
Lyrics
Original
Translation
Bilingual
Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. It's good to be here
It's good to be out of the house. I've been married for twenty years
If you had a job for twenty years, you'd know that job inside and
Out, backwards and forwards. But I can honestly stand here before
You tonight and tell you that after twenty years of marriage, I know
No more about women than I knew the day I got interested in 'em
I know one thing: before I got interested in women, I had a backbone
And I had testicles. I know I had a backbone 'cause I had it X-
Rayed. And I know I had testicles 'cause I used to make my own
Decisions. God, what happened? I can't even go out of the house now
Without, "Honey, do I look alright?" I'm telling you, I've about
Decided when you're involved with a woman, it's like being
Shot at by a sniper, but you don't know where they're at
It's like this big grassy knoll just follows you around
You know? You ever find that, guys? You're just minding your
Own business, just standing there dumb as dirt like we all
Are, just... All of a sudden, "Whoa! Sorry, what'd I do?"
It's just different, man. Men are basic. Women have to have details
Details, details, details. I was at the gym working out with my
Buddy, my buddy Joey. And he, we're working out and he goes, "Hey
Man, I'm getting a divorce." And I go, "Wow, that sucks. Can you spot
Me?" That was our whole conversation. So I go home and I tell my
Wife, I go, "Hey, Joey's getting a divorce." She goes, "Oh my God
What happened?" "I don't know." "What do you mean you don't know?
Was she cheating on him? Is he cheating on her?" "Again, I'm not
Holding anything back here. I don't know." She goes, "Bill
Someone tells you they're getting a divorce and you don't
Ask any questions?" I go, "It's 'cause he didn't ask me a
Question. He didn't say, 'Hey Bill, what do you think about
Me getting a divorce?' He said, 'I'm getting a divorce,'
Which said to me, 'I require no further input on your part.'"
And it finally occurred to me why she wants the
Details. She don't care about Joey. She's gonna
Go tell another woman, and they want the details