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Give Me Your Attention

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Christmas dinner is done! It's time for a show on the living room floor I make my cousin Allison sing "Michael Row the Boat Ashore." And then I make my cousin Roddy play "Greensleeves" on the drums Knowing full well that nobody wants to hear "Greensleeves" on the drums I plan all this riff raff before me Making it harder for my family not to adore me When I enter dressed as a lovable Christmas elf And, oh yeah I've given the eleven o'clock number to myself Give me your attention please It's what I want and what I'm looking for! Ladys and G's your attention please! Now that it's here I'm gonna get some more! I take my crayons The purples, browns, and blues The perfect colors to draw on an attention-getting bruise I give myself a beautiful, big black eye And when my dad comes in I spin a lie as I cry That this mean girl at school grabbed my arm When I was trying to tie my shoelace And when I pulled my hand back I pulled it so hard that I hit myself in the face And he believes me And I totally got his attention Every day after kindergarten Mrs. Thorton picks me up Mrs. Thorton's our next door neighbor She gives me juice in a Dixie cup My parents make me stay with her I'm sure they give her money And she's a nice enough lady But her house smells a little funny And she's always taking naps So I'm always pretty bored Through a hole in her fence I can see my own backyard And I wanna get there Mrs. Thorton's snoring in the hammock And I'm getting kinda mad So I see this as my chance to get back at Mom and Dad So I wander into her kitchen I am lonely and I'm annoyed Her linoleum floor stretches out for a mile And I'm not leaving until I see it destroyed I pour bleach all over the floor Then I pour salt all over the bleach Then I make sure the door locks As I dance around Ms. Thorton's The air is full of Clorox And the ground is full of Morton's Salt But it's not my fault that no one was paying attention So I sneak out the front door And I walk home to my house And later that night my mom's washing my hair in the tub The phone rings and then my heart stops right in mid-scrub She leaves the bathroom for a moment, then comes back "Did you leave Mrs. Thorton's house today?" "No." "Did you pour bleach and salt on her kitchen floor?" "No." Then she shakes her head And she leaves me alone in the tub And though the shampoo's dripping down And it burns I should mention, That it really doesn't matter cause at least I got her attention I want more opportunities to stand out from the crowd! "Give me your attention please!" I shout it loud and proud I don't know why I need it or what I want attention for! But I know that when I get it I just want attention more! And one day what I am waiting for will finally be clear to me. I don't know when But I know then all this need will end