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If I Had $1000000 / Uncle Elwyn
Barenaked Ladies
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I got a blue-and-red Adidas bag and a humongous binder
I'm trying my best not to look like a minor niner
I went out for the football team to prove that I'm a man
Guess I shouldn't tell them that I like Duran Duran
This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine (this is me in grade nine)
This is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine
If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy you a house
I would buy you a house
And if I had a million dollars
And if I had a million dollars
I'd buy you furniture for your house
Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman
And if I had a million dollars
And if I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy you a K-Car
A nice Reliant automobile
And if I had a million dollars
I'd buy your love
And if I had a million dollars
I'd build a tree fort in our yard
And if I had a million dollars
You could help it wouldn't be that hard
And if I had a million dollars
Maybe we could put a little tiny fridge in there somewhere
Little tiny fridge, and maybe I could direct that old lady out there
Oh, the Bryan Street Theatre? It's right up that ladder, lady
Welcome to the Bryan Street Theatre, have a Fruit Roll-up
Aren't you gonna eat it? Oh for Christ's sake!
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a fur coat
But not a real fur coat, that's cruel
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet
Yep, like a llama or an emu
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you John Davidson's remains
Ooh all them green and grey hair, remains and bones
If I had a million dollars
I'd buy your love
If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
And if I had a million dollars
We could take a limousine 'cause it costs more
If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner
But we would
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a green dress
(But not a real green dress, that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you some art
(A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a monkey
Haven't you always wanted a monkey?
And if I had a million dollars
I'd buy your love
And if I had a million dollars
And if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
And if I had a million dollars
I'd be rich