I Ain't Gay (But My Boyfriend Is)
The Boot Scootin' Sissies
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Got a buddy who stays at my place
We share the rent and a couple beers
Sometimes at night we sit pretty close
When we're watching the game, he whispers in my ear
We go fishing and camping most weekends
Just two guys in a one-man tent
He compliments my form when I cast my line
Says I've got talents that heaven sent
He may brush my hand
When passing the salt
And I might not mind at all
But that don't mean a thing, y'all
I ain't gay, but my boyfriend is
He likes when I wear my tight blue jeans
I let him stay in my bed all night
But I close my eyes, so I'm still straight
We share showers to save on bills
And what happens in there is just being thorough
I ain't gay, but my boyfriend is
It's just bros being bros, nothing more
We hit the honky-tonk on Friday nights
I talk to girls while he waits at home
Then later on I might let him massage my back
And things progress as the night rolls on
He does this thing that makes me shiver
But I picture trucks the whole dang time
If his lips happen to land where they shouldn't
I just pretend it's all in my mind
His hands might wander
Below my belt
And I might guide them there
But I'm thinking of Daisy Duke, I swear
I ain't gay, but my boyfriend is
He knows exactly what makes me tick
I moan his name in the dead of night
But I'm wearing camo, so I can't be queer
The walls are thin at my mama's house
So I bite the pillow when he does his thing
I ain't gay, but my boyfriend is
Just two cowboys riding the range
We got matching tattoos on a dare
Our bank accounts somehow got combined
When he's on his knees in front of me
I watch football to keep my mind occupied
My daddy caught us once in the barn
But I had a beer in my hand, so he let it slide
When I call him"darlin" on the phone
I make sure to spit tobacco after I've replied
I ain't gay, but my boyfriend is
Our bodies fit like a lock and key
I may hold him tight throughout the night
But I drive a truck, so that makes me straight
We're getting married next Saturday
But that's just for the insurance benefits
I ain't gay, but my husband is
I ain't gay, I just love him to bits