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Don’t Count on Me
NOFX
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🇬🇧 English · Original
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Whenever you're in need, or just feeling down
Remember that I'm probably on tour in a different town
If you're in a bind or feeling against a wall
Please don't make me one of the first people that you call
And I mean this very sincerishly
Don't count on me, 'cause I'm the worst
If I'm there it'll be a surprise, to so many other friends that I'd call first
It's not that I don't care
I just don't care very much
'Cause I'm either on the spectrum, or just plain out of touch
That's who I am, it's what I do
I could change if I wanted to, but I don't
But if you really need someone to count on
To bring you stress, to extinguish happiness
And anxiety and duress
You can always count on me
'Cause I'm chalant, I'm inspiteful
I am peccable and compliable
I'm a cockroach in a salad
I'm invalid, not invalid
I'm an empty diary
As useful as a college degree
I put the "emo" in chemotherapy
If you ever really need someone to be there
Don't count on me
I've no hand to lend
I was born in the beginning
So I won't be there in the end
So feel free to call me friendly
Just please, don't call me friend