Apocalypservice (Or Jakob Dylan's 115th Nightmare)
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Well I woke up Sunday morning it was three quarters till nine
I went down to get the paper at the local five and dime
And I almost dropped my coffee when I read the new headline
Said today will be your last day cause tomorrow's the end of time
Well I knew it must be true if it was in the New York Times
Cause it's all the news that's fit to print
Unless they change their minds
Well I ran into the court yard screamin, "man what must be done!"
I was told to join the army by an IHM nun
Who was hanging with two celebrities who started to make fun
They said if judgment day was based
on looks you could really use some sun
So I asked a pregnant mother with her oven full of buns
She said in times of peace turn the
other cheek and in times of war run
Well I went to bug my congressman in Washington DC
He was shaking his fist at the pacifist saying love is not free!
See You're trying to save the whole
world we're trying to save the country
But that's mutually exclusive cried the dean of philosophy
Who was arguing with the representative from Tennessee
Who said, "you're all a bunch of losers!" I said,
"Well that ain't very PC, now is it congressman?"
So I walked up to the White House, rang the bell and bared the code
When G-W-B answered I was feeling kinda bold
I said George say it ain't so that rich folk got you in their hold
He said, "Don you're such a bright boy
don't believe everything you're told."
I stand up for black and white and fight for crippled young and old
Just especially if their money is invested in Texas gold
Oil that is
Well I was spiritually conflicted
Didn't know who to pray to
I was raised an Irish catholic
By a non practicing Jew
Who had studied with a Muslim
That converted from Hindu-ism
And preferred the Tae of piglet over the dao of Pooh
So I said a rosary in Yiddish to my man Vishnu
facing Mecca from trifecca drinking bud light 22