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Falling

Penny Rimbaud
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Falling, falling In fleeing from the body we fled from hope We were paralysed with guilt and struck down with fear Lest we forgot Lest we forgot Belsen and Dachau And Treblinka And Auschwitz And Warsaw And Dresden And Guernica And Hiroshima And Nagasaki And My Lai And Cambodia And Sharpeville And Watts And Jacksonville And Biafra And Bosnia And Belfast And the sordid violence of our own lives I run my lips across your thigh Up to where you are hot, moist and naked You squeal as my tongue penetrates you, hot, moist and naked Lest we forgot The tangled bodies of the car crash And the twisted pain of the martyrs And the contortions of hanging And the falling forwards towards the firing squad And the vivid blue of the electric chair And the sudden twist of the garotte And the squalid nature of our own revenge Squirm as my finger seeks out your ass, describing perfect circles Until that too penetrates you, hot, moist and naked The survivors were numbered amongst the dead Pull my leg across you so that I'm straddling you My erect cock dangling between your breasts I groan as you slide your hand round My balls and pull them into your mouth The guilt was in being unable to relate to these bodies The guilt was in turning away The guilt was in the knowledge that these things happen still And that all of this is in all of us Chew on my balls as if they were fruit all the time Gently stroking my pulsing, aching cock Lest we forgot The starving multi-millions The terror of touch The distorted and the burnt and the scarred And the torn and the squashed and the cut And the forgotten As you start to come, so do I You guide my head with one hand, holding me Onto your cunt so that I am almost suffocated With the other hand you guide my cock to where it longs to be Deep in your throat Lest we forgot The dying multi-millions The terror of touch In coming together we become the bodies of all men and all women both The silk of thigh The hair of chest The sheen of breast The down of face The abrupt hardness of nipple The boniness of shin The beardedness of chin The softness of stomach The irregularity of back The tangle of form in penetration, cunt, ass or mouth As I rise, wet-faced, from between your Legs, you turn me round and we kiss "For you," you say, as my sperm slides from your tongue into my mouth "For you, the sacrament is complete" Too many to respect Too many to feel Too many to know Too many to remember Fuck me and fuck you We didn't want these bodies We turned from them because they meant too much We hid away because it mattered too much We were frigid in our guilt Impotent in our inexpressible rage But there was nothing we could do The only salvation was to fuck the pain away The people cry, "The people! The people!" But it is the people who cry The mirror turns to itself and is afraid We wanted to be human, forgetting we'd been born that way We institutionalised guilt because we couldn't handle our own We parodied, we borrowed, we deceived We held up misty mirrors and claimed new vision We claimed everything as our own All the mirrors became misty Who is to know otherwise? This is the only light we will ever see The only body we will ever possess This is the only chance I've got My light, my body, my chance I shall fuck the pain away My absolution is in the flesh Lest we forget So, is the miracle now performed? Is the grey matter that was horizontal time now cut from my brain? Am I now nothing? No thing? I was promised a knife, has it left its mark? Am I cut about? Is there blood on the table? Can I feel the scar? How deep the incision? With no past or future, what is my reference point? None I lift my arms in jubilation I do it, see, out of absolutely nothing I can do it I may never feel again The flesh of my face creasing into a laugh My nipples hardening in the cold My legs aching from hillside walks My eyes stinging with tears My temples throbbing with tiredness My ears collecting the soft breeze My chin resting upon my hand My neck stretching to capture the last rays of the sun My shoulders bruised from carrying sacks of coal or wheat My chest expanding in the desert air My stomach curling as I sit My ass pushing against my trouser seat My knees cracking as I run My feet touching the soil My fingertips touching other bodies and Realising extensions of my own in and out Routeways to the physical world Feeling my body In bathing and running Walking and sleeping, standing and sitting Loving and just living in and out Routeways to the physical world Knowingness in all these landscapes In all the buildings, in all the structures In all the places of the earth And right here, right now In and out Routeways to the physical world It cannot be taken from me And what, pray, if it was?