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That Wuttin' A Marlboro
Tim Wilson
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Some weirdos moved in across the street
And they was keeping my wife awake
Twelve hours of the Goo Goo Dolls was about all she could take
So I went over there, bummed a cigarette
And told them break it up pretty soon
Some Aborigines midgets found me two days later
On the dark side of the moon
Uh oh! That wasn't a Marlboro
Was that the new Prince Albert in the left-handed can?
Uh oh! That wasn't a Marlboro
But this stuff's enough to make Janet Reno look like the Marlboro Man
It kinda looked like a Lucky or a short Pall Mall
Tastes like horse manure, but menthol
If it legally reaches the public's lips
There's gonna be a shortage of tater chips
We can finally quit hating Philip Morris's guts
'Cause that stuff kicks a cigarette's butt
My brain said it's something it had never seen
But it beats the tar out of nicotine
Uh oh! That wasn't a Marlboro
But it's the Surgeon General's nephew's favorite brand
Uh oh! That wasn't a Marlboro
But two packs of that'll have the
Backstreet Boys sounding like a reggae band
It'll have them fellers at the DEA coughing on the witness stand
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